i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
