Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
