I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
