Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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