a queef is a wish your heart makes.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
