well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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