I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
