i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
BRING THE BAGELS
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
