did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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