This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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