it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
