why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He passed out mid-signature
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
ttyl tear gas
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Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
