I'm pants shitting drunk right now
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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