youre lurking in front of me
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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