She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize