I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
