It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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