I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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