Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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