Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
