He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
