at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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