He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
