The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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