He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
