we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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