The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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