Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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