I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
