I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
