; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
