please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
