if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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