just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
