She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
