just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
