the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
