I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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