cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So much Jack, so little girl.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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