Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Drunk is not a location!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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