sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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