Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I just googled if crying burns calories
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
