You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
