I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
