I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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