Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
