Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
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