Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
the liver wants what the liver wants
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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