Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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