dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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