My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
