the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
