the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
