Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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