Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
