This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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