hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
