i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
