Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
