Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
