Sponge bath it is.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
