OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
